I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Randomize
