I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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