I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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