There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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