I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen