do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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