I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
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