okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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