Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
