Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.