Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.