Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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