I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
