Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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