i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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