Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Randomize
