Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
