Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Randomize
