I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize