We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site