you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life