no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
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