tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
But theres a keg here and me gusta
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Randomize