So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Come share oat with me in your robe
Randomize