Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
The uberlube is also flammable
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
