I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
tell me about the fingering
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize