you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.