so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
27 People Confess The Worst Jobs They’ve Ever Had
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
25 People Confess Their Terrifying Stalker Stories
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal