Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
kristin has been a bad kristin
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
