Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
kristin has been a bad kristin
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Randomize
