How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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