Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
