So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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