Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize