C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
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