theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
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