if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
he thought i was a dude.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
