eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
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