everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
