I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
