just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.