I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
