PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"