Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.