i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.