When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Randomize
