Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
You dont lie about slip and slides
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
