aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
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