is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
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