we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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