We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize