your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
I'm really busy with my period
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