Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
