so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.