If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Blood and glitter go together right?
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.