I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.