last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo