chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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